Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it was like eating out sand paper
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
