We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
