If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
