North Korea, Best Korea!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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