Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
