i don't like sucking hair
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
