I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My vagina just clenched in fear
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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