Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just invented taco cereal.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
