sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
