Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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