is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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