I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize