So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
