he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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