Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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