hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
