He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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