he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
