As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
