I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
