And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
