you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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