Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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