U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
