It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i think my mom watched the whole time
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize