Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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