Please don't use social media to get back at me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
only you would photoshop your dick
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
