at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
