she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize