Already got asked if we're dating
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
