My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
