Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We were destined to go to rehab together
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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