the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
wow bdsm is so cute
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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