So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
