Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize