Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I still have a little drunk in my system
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
