i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
