I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
