then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize