its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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