woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
