Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
