Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
