Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
