I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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