New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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