I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
