bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
