I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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