she woke up with a sticky ear
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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