hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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