Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
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