I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize