I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
