Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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