Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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