Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
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