I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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