Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
