You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
