I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
