WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
