At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
