I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
