My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
