Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
