He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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