is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
