Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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