you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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