i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
