i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize