Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
