I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you told grandpa to call you daddy
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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